Which is why I can’t make sense of denominated Christians tolerating so much hate. There’s so much about religious institutions that I disagree with, but I guess I’m still Christian because I believe in this so much.
(via ixeeker)
source: justsuckitndsee
I have another midterm in 8 hours and I can’t concentrate or stop myself from hacking up a lung. I’m tired, but at least everyone I talked to said the genetics midterm was pretty fucking hard. So much for the studying I did for that one.
I’m trying to think happy thoughts and nice feelings. Like listening to music, staying in bed to read, playing with my sisters, going on long walks, and waking up with my boyfriend.
I’m hoping it will make me want to keel over and die a little less.
Filed in: I'm fucked resigned to failure
The fever has subsided and headache gone away, so I can finally sit down and study and not feel completely like shit.
Sadly, I have both midterms in the next 40 hours.
Maybe you can guess the panic starting to settle in riiiiiight about NOW.
Okay, cool. WTF.
Physics homework, 2 quizzes, 2 midterms and finishing up a project at work.
Well this week is going to be fun.
Forget everything else.
holy fucking hell. I suck so hard at the sciences I’m still somehow amazed.
After studying for the past few hours (really) I AM STILL SO ASTOUNDINGLY CONFUSED.
Yes I’m frustrated, but I’m actually more amazed at myself.
I feel so smart right now. You’ve no idea. Like mind blown at my intellect.
Azure Ray - Sleep
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source: soundcloud.com
Artist: Azure Ray
Song: azure ray -Sleep
It might just be coincidence with Diablo III’s release & my boss really is more busy, but I haven’t been here with him in the office lately. I know he likes working from home from time to time, especially because of his toddler, but he also told me that he got through grad school playing Diablo in a moldy basement…
At least I have the office to myself to listen to music and sip Red Bull while I try to finish this project before finals. I couldn’t fall asleep last night and I haven’t spoken a word to anyone except to get breakfast this morning; which I half forced down before just opting for coffee. Long-ish day today.
or exist.
Today was long and tedious and weird. All at once.
I had class at 9, cancelled physics lab, work, and apartment lease-signing (yay!). I left my room at 8:30am and came back 7:30pm, which really isn’t bad but I felt completely drained. Not quite the lethargy I got when my anemia was acting up but I didn’t feel like moving. After a cup of strong coffee at dinner I walked up to my room and knocked out for a bit on my bed. Opening my laptop, I even lacked interest in mindless interest browsing, which never fails to occupy me for long periods of time.
After 2 hours of wanting to punch myself for lacking motivation I forced myself to get up and go out for a run. Getting my concentration in check since returning and showering has kind of failed, but at least I got up and went out. Focusing in lecture, studying, and work was a struggle today. But I something keeps me going. I can’t fully articulate how frustrated I find my coursework, but I have to keep trying. I don’t really think I can handle much more failure.
I really miss playing the violin and being in orchestra.
Staying up late practicing violin beats trying (and failing) to understand Gauss’s Law for physics right now. I give up. Bed time.
